Providing support and challenge while strengthening results and relationships
巩固成果和关系的同时，提供支持和挑战
Whether you are giving feedback or selling a product or an idea, influencing requires understanding how your behavior affects others.
无论你是在提供反馈，还是销售产品或想法，影响他人的前提是，了解你的行为如何影响他人。
Overview
概要
All individuals have their personality – the result both of nature and nurture – which remains essentially unchanged. However, behavior is different: it is flexible and capable of being developed and enhanced.
每个人都有自己的个性——这是先天和后天的共同结果——且基本保持不变。然而，行为是不同的: 它是灵活的，能够被开发和增强。
It’s helpful to consider behavior (yours and others) in terms of warmth or coldness, dominance, or submissiveness.
从温暖或冷漠、支配或顺从的角度考虑行为(你和其他人)是有帮助的。
Warm means being supportive, open, positive, empathetic, constructive, and engaging – not simply ‘friendly’.Cold means being suspicious, detached, not focused on people or relationships.Dominant means being challenging, in control, confident, strong, authoritative, and direct.Submissive means subduing your thoughts or actions for something or someone else.热情 意味着支持、开放、积极、有同情心、有建设性和参与——而不仅仅是“友好”；冷漠 意味着多疑、超然、不关注人和人际关系；支配 意味着具有挑战性、控制力、自信、强大、权威和直接；顺从 意味着为了某事或某人而抑制你的思想或行为。The diagram below (the assertiveness model) highlights different types of behavior (based on the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument).
下面的图表(自信模型)强调了不同类型的行为(基于 Thomas-Kilmann 冲突模式工具)。
Aggressive: dominant and cold behavior
攻击性: 主导性和冷漠的行为
When dealing with aggressive behavior, the best approach is to:
increase your dominance to match their high dominance levels; ensure that you are demonstrating behavior that is assertive and warm rather than aggressive; use open questions to generate understanding; use body language and tone of voice to increase your dominance levels. 当处理攻击性行为时，最好的方法是:
增加你的支配地位，以配合他们的高支配水平； 确保你的行为是自信和热情的，而不是咄咄逼人的； 使用开放式问题，以产生理解； 使用肢体语言和语调，以增加你的支配水平。 Avoiding: cold and submissive behavior
回避: 冷漠和顺从的行为
When dealing with avoiding behavior, the priority is to get people engaged. Proper techniques include:
Displaying lower dominance and higher warmth. Using open questions to make them feel secure. Softening body language and intonation while continuing to smile. 在处理回避行为时，首要任务是让人们参与进来。适当的技术包括:
显示较低的优势和较高的温暖性； 用开放式的问题让他们感到安全； 继续微笑时，柔和的肢体语言和语调。 Appeasing: warm and submissive behavior
安抚: 温和顺从的行为
When dealing with appeasing individuals, it can help to:
stay focused on keeping them on track; use open questions that appeal to their social needs but temper these with closed questions when they waffle; ask summary questions to maintain clarity and focus; Use their name if you are interrupting them. 在处理安抚个人的问题时，可以帮助他们:
专注于让他们走上正轨； 使用开放式问题迎合他们的社会需求，但在他们胡扯时用封闭式问题调和这些问题； 提出摘要式问题以保持清晰和集中注意力； 如果你打断了他们，请使用他们的名字。 Assertive: warm and dominant behavior
自信: 热情和主导的行为
When dealing with conflict, it can help to be assertive and encourage others to be assertive. Consider how easy it is to warm up behavior:
why and when is it not easy? Why do we, as individuals, not behave assertively? What is it that hinders supportive and challenging behavior? Finally, what are the most important questions for you to ask? 当处理冲突时，它可以帮助你变得自信，并鼓励别人变得自信。考虑一下热身行为是多么容易：
为什么，什么时候不容易？ 为什么我们作为个体，行为举止不够果断？ 是什么阻碍了支持性和挑战性的行为？ 最后，你要问的最重要的问题是什么？ Words
生词
assertive 独断的，过分自信的
personality 个性
nurture 培养，训练
essentially 基本上，实质上
enhanced 提高的
dominance 支配，控制
submissiveness 顺从，服从
supportive 有支持作用的
empathic 感情移入的
constructive 积极的，肯定的
suspicious 可疑的
detached 独立的，公正的
authoritative 命令的
subduing 征服，使顺从
assertiveness 过分自信，独断
aggressive 侵略的，好斗的，有进取心的
interrupt 中断，打扰
conflict 冲突，争斗
assertively 断言地，独断地
